SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
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