If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
Randomize
