well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
Randomize
