Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
Randomize
