I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
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