Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
Randomize
