I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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