haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
Randomize
