First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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