It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
Randomize
