one word: firstdatebathroomanal
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
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