the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
Randomize
