the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
