marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
Randomize
