next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
Randomize
