every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
Cracked my iPhone screen. Real bad. Girl from last night isn't ugly yet. Stop me if you still think she belongs under a bridge. You have 12 seconds.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
Randomize
