I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
You left your phone here
Wait...
Randomize
