I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
i just made my gag reflex go away.
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
Randomize
