Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
