i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
I see more hoeing in ur future
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