It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
Randomize
