so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
Randomize
