He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
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