I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
