i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
Randomize
