i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
Randomize
