shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
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