I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Randomize
