Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize
