Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
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