Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
Randomize
