foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
You left your underwear on the fireplace
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
Randomize
