so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
tell me about the fingering
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