It's a beautiful day for a hangover
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
Randomize
