come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
I just followed up on a noise complaint...only to find 2 girls in bikinis covered in jello with beer cans everywhere. I couldn't bring myself to bust that party.
I want to be a cop.
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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