Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
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