the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
Randomize
