best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
Randomize
