you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
Randomize
