Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
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