my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
Randomize
