I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
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I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
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The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?