Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.