the "happy anniversary" cake for my mom and dad is about to turn into the "yeah, that's a hickey, welcome back from italy" cake.
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
Randomize
