im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
This show inspires me to have sex in space
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.