I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
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dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
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So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant