Texts From Last Night

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  (804): View more from Virginia

  No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.

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  (804): No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat. http://tfl.nu/b9yx
  Replies (5) Good night (1236) Bad night (650)
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  (419): View more from Ohio

  Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico

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  (419): Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico http://tfl.nu/934w
  Replies (18) Good night (7391) Bad night (1195)
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  (307): View more from Wyoming

  you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?

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  (307): you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right? http://tfl.nu/h1i3
  Replies (7) Good night (4307) Bad night (1318)
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  (515): View more from Iowa

  Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?

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  (515): Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this? http://tfl.nu/woh0
  Replies (9) Good night (5486) Bad night (1079)
• Favorite

  (213): View more from California

  just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week

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  (213): just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week http://tfl.nu/o3oo
  Replies (15) Good night (1053) Bad night (4129)
• Favorite

  (715): View more from Wisconsin

  Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?

  (651): View more from Minnesota

  That's yours. We cut you off.

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  (715): Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off? (651): That's yours. We cut you off. http://tfl.nu/7df9
  Replies (3) Good night (4044) Bad night (1048)
• Favorite

  (415): View more from California

  I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.

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  (415): I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW. http://tfl.nu/hy3p
  Replies (6) Good night (2488) Bad night (1090)
• Favorite

  (574): View more from Indiana

  Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?

  (1-574): View more from Indiana

  Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.

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  (574): Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for? (1-574): Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina. http://tfl.nu/l0nz
  Replies (18) Good night (2348) Bad night (837)
• Favorite

  (207): View more from Maine

  We are hot boxing the gondola

  (607): View more from New York

  I hate everything.

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  (207): We are hot boxing the gondola (607): I hate everything. http://tfl.nu/4t9d
  Replies (9) Good night (1569) Bad night (715)
• Favorite

  (650): View more from California

  lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses

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  (650): lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses http://tfl.nu/4rg9
  Replies (12) Good night (1323) Bad night (806)
• Favorite

  (216): View more from Ohio

  And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.

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  (216): And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win. http://tfl.nu/kl48
  Replies (2) Good night (1523) Bad night (665)
• Favorite

  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication

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  (717): Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication http://tfl.nu/j4oj
  Replies (11) Good night (1131) Bad night (670)
• Favorite

  (404): View more from Georgia

  No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"

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  (404): No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party" http://tfl.nu/5res
  Replies (5) Good night (1187) Bad night (463)
• Favorite

  (506): View more from New Brunswick

  You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.

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  (506): You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get. http://tfl.nu/dc03
  Replies (1) Good night (478) Bad night (439)
• Favorite

  (469): View more from Texas

  Bring me that man meat

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  (469): Bring me that man meat http://tfl.nu/j03f
  Replies (1) Good night (368) Bad night (141)

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