Texts From Last Night

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  (757): View more from Virginia

  then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!

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  (757): then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?! http://tfl.nu/fmkj
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  (847): View more from Illinois

  Rock

  (630): View more from Illinois

  Scissors

  (630): View more from Illinois

  Fuck

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  (847): Rock (630): Scissors (630): Fuck http://tfl.nu/tdxv
  Replies (15) Good night (2400) Bad night (675)
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  (706): View more from Georgia

  TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!

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  (706): TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!! http://tfl.nu/qyaf
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  (253): View more from Washington

  I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself

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  (253): I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself http://tfl.nu/cpen
  Replies (21) Good night (4386) Bad night (764) Order T-Shirt
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  (917): View more from New York City

  Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him

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  (917): Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him http://tfl.nu/5c6r
  Replies (144) Good night (17390) Bad night (2722) Order T-Shirt
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  (512): View more from Texas

  I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?

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  (512): I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing? http://tfl.nu/nzdd
  Replies (7) Good night (8453) Bad night (627) Order T-Shirt
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  (712): View more from Iowa

  Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.

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  (712): Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be. http://tfl.nu/n7rl
  Replies (8) Good night (5859) Bad night (893) Order T-Shirt
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  (804): View more from Virginia

  IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT

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  (804): IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT http://tfl.nu/e7uf
  Replies (40) Good night (9224) Bad night (1430) Order T-Shirt
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  (312): View more from Illinois

  You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.

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  (312): You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer. http://tfl.nu/l87h
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  (443): View more from Maryland

  Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.

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  (443): Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER. http://tfl.nu/iqvs
  Replies (4) Good night (4959) Bad night (764) Order T-Shirt
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  (309): View more from Illinois

  I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.

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  (309): I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar. http://tfl.nu/nec2
  Replies (8) Good night (3496) Bad night (693) Order T-Shirt
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  (859): View more from Kentucky

  He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."

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  (859): He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for." http://tfl.nu/4ze1
  Replies (8) Good night (2269) Bad night (702)
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  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.

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  (215): We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left. http://tfl.nu/c9gd
  Replies (6) Good night (594) Bad night (2034) Order T-Shirt
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  (408): View more from California

  You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."

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  (408): You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom." http://tfl.nu/ayfd
  Replies (2) Good night (1246) Bad night (316) Order T-Shirt
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  (860): View more from Connecticut

  official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count

  (516): View more from New York

  then nothing in my life counts

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  (860): official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count (516): then nothing in my life counts http://tfl.nu/4fe8
  Replies (8) Good night (1667) Bad night (333)

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