Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.