I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
he was CRYING into my vagina
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
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