I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
