I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
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