So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
Randomize
