She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
Randomize