this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
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