Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Randomize
