So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
Randomize
