my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
Randomize
