we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
You work out of a Hotel?
dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
Randomize
