Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
Randomize
