guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
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