sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
you are never too drunk for berry picking
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
Randomize