remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
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