we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
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