is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
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