I just tipped a bartender in xanax.
thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
Randomize
