If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Randomize
