There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
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