Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
