she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
You know, be my cock's hype man.
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
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