My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
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