The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
Randomize
