They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
He had one of those small greek statue penises
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
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