if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
Randomize
